Just Keep Drinking Water.

Everything seems to be good, now I feel like I'm actually living, not just floating. I'm not completely there, but at least I know now that I can get out of a funk. I found out people were thinking about me and people were not. I think its a good sign, and with a person not liking me, no reason to get cute to get dirty at the studio.
I feel like I'm doing well on studio work, but tommorrow is the crucial day to tell. If I get alot of work done in the wood shop and get at least a floor plan inked, I'll be good. The problem is I want to ink the floor plan in class at 1 before I use the trace version to make the model. But the shop closes at 5 or 6. So maybe I'll ink, cut out the pieces I already have measured out, then see if I have time to get some more cuts done. The tow pieces I have measured out are the ceiling and floor planes, so since I made most of the light fixtures tonight, I will be able to glue them on. I'm nevervous cause I have alot of the details in progress and I'm worried I might miss out on the big stuff. Well, at least I'm on pace getting stuff done for now. Now bed time.

Normalcy.

I'm going to try to post on here like normal people do. We'll see how that works out. I have 1o mins till I have to walk to class. Interior Building Tech. About as interesting as it seems, except I like it. But we have to do a sheet a week and what happens is you do the sheet, she tells you its all wrong and you have to do it over like 5 times. It's because her lectures suck. But she switches over with my professor who taught my tech last year. And hes awesome. I think I would like drawing details and such if it was stuff I had done. Not a crappy conference center that is our project this year. But with how studio's going this semester, that could be doing what I would be for the rest of my life. Oh well.

I did do this this weekend. Its called "Snow on Pines" Gives me hope for studio art. By the end of the year I want to be able to do a sick, realist self portrait. Class time.

Recent Obsession.

Ive been trying to be a lot more expressive lately, even if my classes arent letting me do that, I started painting in this style that I've been using in my prject now, and its kinda how I've been seeing the world lately. I guess I've maybe not given up, but let go of this dream of me being able to do realism. I can only do it with things ive been drawing and drawing. Example, I've been drawing koi for the last year, and they are finally getting good. And I keep using 'I've' in this post and its annoying.
I really can't wait to have a perminent residence. I really want a place to put up art and gasp, maybe paint. I feel like I need the outlet of making a place my own. Soon, though, soon.
http://www.ghostco.com This is Matthew Woodson's portfolio stuff. I like him and I would love to buy prints for the aforementioned home. Damn I can't wait for that day that I can come in and say I'm home. Looking at his work has made me feel so comfortable, and kinda like a stalker, but whatever.
Wow, I'm doing gouache now, damn I am horrible at watering it down. I kinda like it though cause then I end up layering alot. And I just slipped on my floor. How does this happen?
This has been my longest post in forever, but its relieving. I actually had a good weekend. I finished basically all my drawings for final crit that I know how to do. We have to do table details and stuff that she hasnt really explained yet. And I have to finish one perspective. Hopefully tommorrow I will be able to get the right wood to start my model. I went out too, and it was fun. I've kind of gotten over that its very possible my professor will never like what I do, so why not at least do it the way I want to, instead of half-assing it like I feel like she wants me too. It was also nice because arch 4 is doing a rowhome, which we did last year. So when they used to give me shit for not doing "real architecture" I'm telling them how to do a floor plan. Oh yea that, that tastes fucking sweet.
Hopefully, I will get more money soon, so I can buy prints, music and maybe brushes that are effective. The one I'm using now is completely curled on itself. I think its the only one I have of that size too.
I'm actually gonna paint instead of rattling my mouth.

Letter to my grandparents.

i dont really know how to write a letter that politely says, "thanks for never showing up, family ties are truely the ones that bind." I keep thinking about Circa Survive's, "On Letting Go." that says "If blood is thicker than water, Then you'll drown quicker than we intended"

I know I have been behind on thank yous for the last two years, and I very much appreciate what you have given to me. I have learned and at the same time been caught up in what its like to be wholly devoted to something you finally saw bigger than yourself. It is helpful that you have contributed to this opportunity for me, and thank you again.

i hope takes effect.