Approaching.

Because of the life threatening virus problem, I've been behind on some readings and two major assignments. One for my Africa class was due Friday the 31st. Yesterday I was able to get the necessary tutoring appointment which basically pointed out the fact that I had to smoosh the paper into about 4 days of writing it and at the same time losing tons of focus to what is trying to be accomplished with the assignment. I would like to be able to turn it in Tues. Ok, it might not be great but it will be done, and the tutoring did help. Second is an extended outline for a term long paper and presentation, the outline was due a damn long time ago, so long I don't remember when it was. The physical paper is due next Friday. I wanted to hand the outline in by today, but I slept 12 hours last night, kind of cutting off anytime for work. And I am trying to keep up with current assignments at the same time.
On Tues, my grandmother died, I didn't know her to well, but all the sudden it becomes pretty obvious that I am the one making the choice about driving to Jacksonville (12+ hours) to see the 15 min graveside service. On one side there is the respect, and on the other the two day interruption of daily life and the planning fiasco.
This prof. that the outline is due for, I approach her after class and tell her, I am still sick and still need a lot of rest and my grandmother has died and services are 12 hours away. Her response was, "I'm not telling you not to go to your grandmother's funeral, but I've extended deadlines and you still are behind, and this needs to be turned in now." Wow, well thanks for the understanding. She also screwed me over when I came to her for help because I felt I was doing bad on exams because I felt rushed. She told me that she would never take an exam away from a student and I could follow her to her office with my exam if I didn't finish during class time and that this applied to everyone. With this confidence I took the next exam, taking my time to carefully construct my answers. Then she informs us that we needed to finish up, class time was over, and so was the exam. Gahh, made me angry. Worse is its been a week and she hasn't turned back the exams, when the last ones were returned by the next class period, two days away. So now I have not idea how her constraint affected my grade.
After a phone call, it is decided that we will travel down for my grandmother, I just feel it is the right thing to do.
Also on that fateful Tuesday,I went on a date with the guy I met at Wawa. I it was good. The restaurant was delicious and it was like a real first date, and its been a while since I've had one of those. I have a good feeling he is much older than me, and I don't have the same super giddy feelings about him that I have others, but I'm ready to see how it pans out.
I don't think I'm sleeping tonight, got way too much work to do.
Sometimes I hate the space lyrics take up, but this song has been with me through this whole illness and I feel like I need to include it.
"Head in Hands" by Valencia
Well, I've been saving my breath for another year.
I wasted my time.
I'm coming clean to you on how I'm always catching up.
Yeah, I'm still chasing my heart down 95.
It's a fucked up way to live your life when you are stuck always catching up.
So I'll come clean to you.

Head in hands I find that I've been fighting the words,
It just isn't worth my time.
It's not a way to die.
Suffocated by stress, my life is a mess, it's not right.
Head in hands we climb.
Separated by fate that got in the way of this life.
Of all the ways to die,
Suffocated by stress, my life is a mess, it's not right.

Yeah I've been clearing my head trying to get some sleep,
And all these overloaded thoughts crashed down on me.
It seems that this is just not good enough.
I'll come clean to you.

Head in hands I find that I've been fighting the words,
It just isn't worth my time.
It's not a way to die.
Suffocated by stress, my life is a mess, it's not right.
Head in hands we climb.
Separated by fate that got in the way of life.
Of all the ways to die,
Suffocated by stress, my life is a mess, it's not right.

Well, this is the calm before the storm.
It's getting harder then it has before.
Sometimes you've got to walk in the rain
If you're dying to find what you're looking for.
Dying to find what you're looking for.

Head in hands I find that I've been fighting the words,
It just isn't worth my time.
It's not a way to die.
Suffocated by stress, my life is a mess, it's not right.
Head in hands we climb.
Separated by fate that got in the way of life.
It's not a way to die.
Suffocated by stress, my life is a mess, it's not right.